Welcome to the stage of life where falling over becomes having a fall. The Had a Fall Survival Button is the ultimate getting-old gag, a novelty talking button on a lanyard that shouts “Help!”, “I’ve had a fall!”, and “I’ve taken a tumble!” at the press of a button. Ideal for 40th birthdays, 50th birthdays, retirements, or anyone who groans when they sit down. It doesn’t call for help, just attention. Unnecessary? Absolutely. Worn immediately? Without question.

• Talking button that yells dramatic old-age quotes for maximum comedy

• Wear it around your neck like a faux emergency alert

• Funny birthday or retirement gift for anyone over 30

• Packed with phrases like “I’ve had a fall!”

• A ridiculous party icebreaker for men and women alike